Meditation, Mindfulness and Finding The Time To Relax

I can't relax.

I don't have the ability.  I was hyperactive as a child, so maybe this is where it comes from.

But I can't relax.  I try to put this to good use.  I try to be productive all the time, but the downside of this is I get more stressed out if I am not productive, I feel guilty when I do relax and I end up very frayed and burned out regularly.

The first time I felt truly relaxed as an adult was 8 years ago, on my first trip snowboarding in Sauze D'oulx in Italy.  I had had a rough year and I remember sitting down on the mountain one day and feeling at peace.  I was physically drained but I was fired up with adrenaline and I was completely alone on this section of mountain.  It was snowing, it was cold, I had a wet arse, the clouds had closed in so visibility was low.  And I felt safe and happy for the first time in a year.

I think this was my introduction to meditation, looking back.

I am no expert, but I feel there are two types of mediation: Doing and Being.  I will explain...

Doing Meditation:

If meditation's purpose is to quiet the storm inside your head, what better than doing something that gets your heart racing and requires all your skill and attention.  You can't worry about the things causing you stress when you're hurtling down a mountain on little more than a plastic tray! I returned to the mountains every year for 6 years and felt the same peace.  A brief period of low-income has put these trips on hold for me, but I found the same single-mindedness in weight-lifting.  When I leave the gym, I'm a costume of a man - I left it all in there, I don't have the energy for stress after a good workout.  It's catharsis.  I believe that men respond better to the "Doing" meditation - the personal achievement of a new PB bench press, seeing progress in our arms, legs, abs (I wish!) and chests.  It ties into something fundamental and primitive and is quite grounding.

Doing Meditation applies to anything that requires your skill, attention and passion to make progress with. This blog is a type of Doing Meditation for me as I have never considered myself a writer but am quite enjoying elaborating on my thoughts and ideas and burdening other's with my clumsy attempts to rationalise and understand the world around me! 

Being Meditation:

Being Meditation is a far quieter affair.  It ties into mindfulness, into finding 10 or 15 minutes in a day to let your mind go blank, to concentrate on breathing and clearing your mind.  This is something I am fairly new to, but find helpful to quell the storm in my head.  However, this one comes with it's own challenge.

We write out our to-do list for the day to attempt being productive after an 8 hour work day, because every day should include you doing something for yourself, your own betterment:

•  - Go to the Gym
•  - DIY
•  - Food Shopping
•  - Clean The House
•  - Empty The Dishwasher

...and on and on - we make time throughout the day, evening or weekend for all our tasks and put off making time to relax till these "more pressing" matters are dealt with.  Before you know it, its 9pm, you need to make your lunch for the next day (because who does #MealPrepSunday anyway?) and you go to bed, your head still a jumbled mess.  Now, if you live alone, or have your own room, perhaps you can sneak in 10 mins of meditation before bed, but if you live with a partner this can often be quite hard.  My partner likes to ensure she has her outfit all ready for the next morning (I was unaware of this routine before buying a house with her) and this seems to require quite a lot of shuffling about, banging things, opening and closing drawers and huffing and puffing for no discernible reason (to my male brain!).  All quite opposed to a quiet 10 minutes of reflection and relaxation

This is where technology can help us all, and whilst meditation and mindfulness should be about "unplugging" from the modern world, the human brain can't help but respond to repeated patterns of behaviour, we're all creatures of habit (some filthier than others - you know who you are!).  

Headspace

Headspace is a great app.  It uses guided meditation to help you clear your mind and the great thing is, its designed to help you develop a habit by scheduling a time each day for you to meditate.  It does this from the get go, so assuming the time you use it first is when you regularly have time available, it will schedule it for that time each day.  

Sleepfulness

I love this app.  Its design is beautiful, the free content is amazing and I must admit I have yet to make it through one of their "having trouble sleeping" meditations.  I am lights-out in no time! Well worth checking out if like me you have trouble switching off (even now, my missus is sleeping next to me while I write this.  That cat is also cleaning herself in my peripheral vision which is fairly distracting.  They like an audience it seems!)

Music For Cats

This album by David Teie is available on streaming services and is very good for people too.  If you have a cat, they will enjoy it.  But so will you! I normally put it on before bed and the cats clam down, I calm down....everyone is happy! 

So lastly, mindfulness.  What is my interpretation of mindfulness, as I know the 3 people who will read this (Hi Mum!) love to hear my opinion on anything and everything!

Mindfulness is being aware of yourself at all times, a constant monitoring of thought and feeling to curate as much happy, positive "energy"  to carry us through the day.  It's being aware of what we're putting into the world, have we made someone else's day a little better or more positive, it's about seeing the warning signs, the storm clouds on the horizon and knowing how to navigate around them or how to weather them if need be and still stay positive.     

I have enjoyed trying mediation and mindfulness the last few weeks, and partly it's the reason I started this blog, so I could write down thoughts and feelings and theories and move them out of my head! 

Have a positive week 

Namaste 

ॐ