I can't relax. I don't have the ability. I was hyperactive as a child, so maybe this is where it comes from. But I can't relax. I try to put this to good use. I try to be productive all the time, but the downside of this is I get more stressed out if I am not productive, I feel guilty when I do relax and I end up very frayed and burned out regularly. The first time I felt truly relaxed as an adult was 8 years ago, on my first trip snowboarding in Sauze D'oulx in Italy. I had had a rough year and I remember sitting down on the mountain one day and feeling at peace. I was physically drained but I was fired up with adrenaline and I was completely alone on this section of mountain. It was snowing, it was cold, I had a wet arse, the clouds had closed in so visibility was low. And I felt safe and happy for the first time in a year. I think this was my introduction to meditation, looking back. I am no expert, but I feel there are two ty
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